hello monday: vol. 17

Hello, Monday. I've been thinking about the Lord's goodness lately.

This isn't anything new, necessarily. It's something I've thought about a lot over the last several years.

You see, I found myself in circumstances that had me asking big questions. Big questions about God and His goodness and whether or not that was really true. Because intellectually, I knew it, but emotionally I didn't, and I wanted that to change.

 
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It should come as no surprise that I believe the words we speak matter. When you speak true things over your life, good things grow. When you speak lies over your life, bad things grow. When you speak words of doubt over your life, doubt grows. When you speak words of trust, well, you get the idea.

A few years ago, I got a necklace that said, "She didn't always know what He was doing, but she knew that He was always good."

Shortly before that, I'd started changing the way I prayer. Recognizing this belief that the words we speak have extreme power, I started beginning each prayer with the words, "Abba, You are good." At the time, I didn't always believe that, but I wanted to. So I prayed those words again, and again, and again, and again. 

Just a couple of years later, I found myself in a season where I could tell the Lord was working and moving and doing bit things, but He was doing them in that way that seemed out of order to my limited human perspective. I had a lot of questions for Him that I wrestled with daily. I had a lot of moments where I was tempted to despair because the part of me that likes to do lists and spreadsheets and order had no idea what He was doing or what was going on.

But over three years of starting my prayers with the simple statement, "Abba, You are good," did something pretty incredible. Because even in that season of fear and uncertainty, I believed that without a shadow of a doubt. I didn't know what He was doing, but I knew that He is always, always good.

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It's been a little while since that season of doubt and uncertainty.

After a few months, things started to make a bit more sense. One by one, different pieces fell into place, and the Lord slowly lit the path, showing me bit by bit just what He had begun doing in my life months before.

And now here I am, even further down the road, seeing things come to fruition that are beyond my wildest dreams. It's incredible to watch and humbling to be part of, and through it all, I have continued to start my prayers with those same words, "Abba, You are good."

But here's the thing — the Lord isn't good because of what He's doing now. He isn't good because all that fear and uncertainty from a year and a half ago has turned into incredible blessings in the here and now. He isn't good because He was working toward this particular end way back then. He isn't good because what seemed like a horrible situation turned out to be an incredible one.

He is good because He is good. Period. End of story.

Regardless of circumstances or situations. Regardless of the presence of fear and uncertainty or the absence of it. Regardless of whether or not things turn out like we hope or they don't. He is good in these wonderful circumstances, and He would still be good if it all fell apart tomorrow.

His goodness doesn't change. It just is. And praise God for that.