a love letter to the woman who feels like she's too much
I have never been a quiet person. I threw dramatic temper tantrums at a young age, I performed in my first play at the age of seven, and I've always had a flair for the dramatic. I talk fast and I talk loud. When I get excited about something, I get excited about that something.
And there have been so many moments throughout my life where I've felt like I'm too much, in every sense of the word. Too loud, too fast, too short, too fat, the list could go on and on. Every time I was told to be quiet, to slow down, someone commented on my weight, or on my height, it only reinforced the belief that I was inherently too much — for people, for jobs, for relationships, for life.
You might be sitting here, reading these words, thinking the same thoughts I've thought time and time again over the years. You've been called too much too many times in your life. You've been called too much by friends, by family, by boyfriends, by colleagues, and by teachers.
So hear this: I know you. I see you. I am one of you.
I know that you go through so many days watching your sweet, demure, gentle friends finding incredible guys and you wonder. You wonder if you're too much. You wonder if you have too much passion, too much fire, too much personality and pizzazz and spunk and spark. You wonder if you're destined to end up alone because your 'too much' of everything is never anything but intimidating to the men in your life.
Hear me when I say that I have been there. I've cried silent and not-so-silent tears numerous times as a man has told me, in one form or another, that I am too much. I've read books and watched movies and observed people and often wished more than anything that I could be one of those quiet, unassuming women who floats in and out of a room and catches people off guard with the way she so delicately lives her life.
The fact of the matter is, I'm not that kind of person. And you might not be either. If you are, that's wonderful. That's how God created you and you should fully embrace all the beauty and loveliness that comes from that kind of personality.
But if that's not you, if you're like me — a woman with opinions and volume and sass — embrace all the beauty and loveliness that comes from that kind of personality. Because, my dear, if there's one thing I could impress upon you today it's this: you are never too much.
That passion and pizzazz and spunk and sass? The world needs it. That joy that bubbles out of you when you're talking about something you love? The world needs it. The passion you feel for causes and movements that are important to your heart? The world needs it. The sass you sprinkle into daily interactions because it makes life a little more interesting? The world needs it.
There will always be a need for people who are quiet and calm and steady. Without them, the world would be in utter chaos most of the time. My parents are people like that. My baby sister is like that. And you know what they do? They help bring quiet and calm and steadiness to the world. And I am so, so grateful that they do. But you know what would happen if everyone in the world was quiet and calm and steady? Everything in the world would be quiet and calm and steady.
I don't know about you, but that sounds like a pretty boring world to me.
The world needs people who feel a little bit all over the place sometimes. It's what makes life interesting. It's what makes life an adventure. Yes, we absolutely need those quiet, calm, steady people to bring us back down to earth sometimes, but people like you add some color and pop and sizzle to the world.
Without knowing you personally, this is what I know about you: you are made in the image of God and just as He has quiet, calm, steady sides to Himself, He also has loud, boisterous, sizzling sides to Himself and no one side of Him is any better or worse than the other.
It can be difficult when it feels like the world and often the Church is telling you to be something you know you can never be. It can make you feel like there's something inherently wrong with you, like God messed up somehow and you're not as valuable or as loved as your quiet, calmer peers.
Hear this now: God never messes up.
He made you the way you are for a reason. Yes, there are elements of your personality that the enemy can twist and distort and use to hurt others in your life. But that's the case with every single human being on this planet, not just you. The world needs every bit of the woman God created you to be and that woman is someone with pop and sizzle and spunk and pizzazz.
Please don't ever feel like you have to change who you are to be accepted or loved. Don't ever feel like you aren't as valuable as your friends who are quiet and calm. People like you are what makes life interesting and adventurous and memorable.
I'm a feisty, little spitfire with a lot of opinions who loves a good debate. And there are people who only ever see that side of me and assume that's just who I am.
But this little spitfire is also a woman who is passionate about the things in her life. That means when I love, I love fiercely and deeply. I am loyal almost to a fault and will fight for the people I love. I feel a lot and cry a lot and sometimes it seems like I'm just a hot mess of emotions. I will squeal and freak out and gush over the things that make my heart sing. And none of that is ever too much. It's just who I am.
Whatever it is about yourself, whatever your "too much" is that you want to change — don't. Please.
I promise you, the Lord made you that way for a reason. He put every bit of spunk and sass into your personality that was necessary to create the woman He intends you to be. The enemy will try to twist it into something it was never meant to be, either by making you think you need to downplay it or using it as an excuse to bulldoze people. Don't let him.
You were created in the image of God, meticulously stitched together in your mother's womb to reflect Him in a way that only you can. And I'm willing to bet that the part of your life and personality that feels like it's 'too much' is a part of that unique reflection.
So please, whenever you feel like you're too much, do whatever you can to remember that you are not and then go out and add some more pop and spice and sizzle to this beautiful world.